I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends
by agawak
Summary: Abby's world is spirling out of control. When two people from her past show up, will it be enough to help her? UPDATED. please review if you want to.
1. Returning to County

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

Disclaimer: As much as I want to own everything about E.R., I don't.

Summary: After 14.4, Abby's world starts to crumble. When two old friends arrive at County will it be to late to help her, or will her past friendships rekindle in time?

EVERYTHING UP TO 14.4 HAS HAPPENED!!!

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"Come on Abby pick up! Damn it Abby!" A man screamed into the phone. His wife came near him and wrapped her arms around him. The man hung up the phone and threw it into the charger.

"She's still not picking up?"

"Nope. I wonder if everything's all right. Luka didn't pick up, but he did email me and tell me he was in Croatia. Abby should be picking up."

"It's ok John. I know you're concerned. I'm sure she's fine." John Carter's wife gave him a kiss. Their marriage and relationship had been doomed from the start. When Carter returned to his wife's AIDS clinic in the Congo, the two became close, and it actually felt like a marriage.

"Our plane leaved tomorrow. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I loved Chicago the last time I was there. The city is beautiful."

"I know, we'll stay in the house, and I want to go into the E.R. for a few minutes just to say hello. Then we can get focused on the Joshua Carter foundation. We have a lot to do. The building is just about done so we need to get to work."

Kem remembered getting the call from her husband. She had been a little hesitant to create a center with the name of their stillborn son. The thought of him still touched a soft spot. They never got to know their son.

"I'm ready to go first thing. Wake me up?"

"Of course." The Carter's got into bed and feels asleep after their last night in the Congo for a few months.

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"The last things are packed up. You sure you want to do this?"

"There is nothing here for me. I want to go back, I need to go back. I hate it here."

"I know babe. The movers are coming in an hour to get all of the stuff and bring it to the new house."

"Alright. Let's try to leave at ten tomorrow. It will take a few hours to get to Chicago, and I don't want to stay here any longer than we have to."

"I know Suze, I know. Cosmo packed his backpack earlier with toys for the car ride."

"Ok. That's good."

"How are you feeling tonight?"

"Morning sickness is a bitch." They chuckled. "This pregnancy is better than Cosmo's. I'm anxious though, to see Abby again. I'll finally get the tenure position at County."

Chuck and Susan looked around their house. Boxes were piled up waiting for the movers. Chuck did most of the packing while Susan labeled boxes and entertained Cosmo. Chuck was overprotective of Susan's pregnancy. They had found out a month ago that they were going to be parents a second time. Chuck was really good with Cosmo, and the tried for a little under a year to become pregnant again. Susan had two miscarriages, which brought her spirits down, but then she was pregnant for good.

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"Multiple MVA coming in. ETA seven minutes." Sam announced to the doctors and nurses standing at admit. "We are taking four of them. Let's prep." The nurses rushed to grab supplies. Pratt and Morris grabbed the interns and med students and prepared them for the accident.

"Morris, Pratt, where the hell is Lockhart?" Their new chief, Dr. Moretti stormed up to them. They walked into the ambulance bay wondering the same.

The first of four ambulances pulled up. Moretti grabbed an intern and med student and ran to meet the EMT. "Male, 45 pulse eighty over one hundred. Car crashed into his. Took fire department awhile to get him out."

"What's your name sir?" Moretti asked the man lying on the gurney. The man looked up.

"Stuart Pressman."

"Do you have any allergies?"

"Not that I'm aware of, so no." The EMT and doctors pushed Mr. Pressman into trauma one. They began working on him.

_Meanwhile…_

Morris ran with a med student and intern to the next ambulance pulling up.

"What do we have?" Morris asked the EMT. It was Pratt's brother. "40 year old woman." Pratt's brother read off stats.

"What's your name ma'am?" Morris asked.

"Elizabeth Pressman. Where's my husband?"

"We'll find him Mrs. Pressman. We'll take good care of you. Let's roll." The four of them rolled Mrs. Pressman into the suture room. She wasn't in a horrible state. The began working on her as well.

_In the bay…_

The next two ambulances pulled into the bay. Pratt ran to the first one. The EMT jumped out. "Thirty-eight year old woman. Her son is in the next ambulance."

Pratt saw it. "Oh my god." He ran over to the next ambulance. "1-year old male."

"Oh god."

"You Ok doc?" The EMT with the baby asked.

"No, damn it!"

"The EMT with the woman came over to Pratt at the other ambulance. "You're going to need to get a blood alcohol level on the female."

"WHAT? Oh god! Ok."

"The baby doesn't seem to be harmed in anyway. Normal vitals. I'll take him up to the nursery." The EMT working on the baby exclaimed.

"Thanks, let's take her to trauma two." The EMT and doctor rolled the woman to the trauma room. Pratt didn't have time to question his judgment. He had to save his friends life.

"What the hell happened here Abby? What the hell did you do?" Pratt asked himself as he stared down at his friend lying on the gurney. Sam walked in the room. She looked at the patient.

"Where's Joe?"

"He's not harmed. He's in the nursery."

"Oh, thank god. What the hell happened?"


	2. Recover

Thanks for your reviews. Keep reviewing and I hope you like it.

Chapter 2

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_Previously…_

_Carter and Susan get ready to return to County_

_Abby and Joe are involved in a car accident and Sam and Pratt are in shock_

"What the hell happened?" Sam was in shock she stared down at her friend. They didn't get along at first, but over time they became good friends. She couldn't believe what a mess Abby was in.

"Let's get a CBC, chem. panel, toxscreen, blood alcohol level, chest film, lets get an ultrasound in here, and call down x-ray." Pratt read off the list of tests and acted like Abby was any other patient, but she wasn't.

Ever since Joe's accident in the park, Abby's life had gone downhill way too fast. Luka was still in Croatia, and couldn't be reached during Joe's tests. Abby was in shock and felt like millions of bricks were on her shoulder. She couldn't handle the pressure.

"Toxscreen and BAL are back. No drugs in her system, but her BAL is .07. She's an alcoholic Pratt. Not good." Sam looked the attending with concern. Joe's accident couldn't have been the only problem.

The trauma room doors open and Morris walks in seeing Pratt and Sam stare at each other. He was confused. "What do you have?"

Neither replied. They both continued to work on the patient in silence occasionally looking up at each other. They worked carefully and cautiously.

Morris still stood at the door. "What do you have Pratt?"

"Morris run and do not stop, run and get Neela and Dubenko. GO!" Morris ran. He didn't know why, but Pratt's tone of voice was one not worth questioning.

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Neela ran down the stairs the instant Morris told her about the trauma. All she knew was the Pratt and Sam needed a surgical consult. There wasn't time to wait for the elevator, so she sprinted down the stairs. By the time she reached the E.R. she was completely out of breath, but continued on.

"What do we have Pratt?"

"Stay there a sec Neela." She saw the tone in his voice. It was mixed with being scared and angry.

"What the hell is going on Greg?"

"Neela, before you freak, well you should, but don't. It's Abby."

"Oh god." Neela slide to the floor. Tears came out of her eyes like waterfalls. She knew she should have seen this coming. Neela turned a bind eye on her friend when she needed her the most.

Neela knew she started drinking again. Neela knew she was an alcoholic. She knew everything. She knew about the phone call from the random hospital in Missouri. She knew Abby's mother was in that hospital off her meds. She knew about the call from Luka. She knew his father was getting worse. Neela knew. And now, Abby was on the gurney with tubes and wire coming out of her limp body. Neela could have done something. It was her fault Michael went back to Iraq, it was her fault Meg died, it was her fault Ray's legs were missing, and now it was her fault Abby was in this state.

Morris, who was still not in the know, came back into the trauma room. He first saw Neela on the floor with her swollen red eyes, and then he saw Pratt and Sam working on the patient.

"It's Abby Morris." Neela was sobbing while she attempted to say this. Morris was in shock for a minute, but got up and got a hold of Dubenko for surgery. Someone had to keep it cool for all of them.

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"She's out of surgery." Dubenko came walking out of the OR and saw Sam, Pratt, Morris and Neela waiting in the waiting room for news on their friend. "She's going to be alright. You should probably call Luka and tell him to go home. She's going to need a physc consult, and someone needs to watch Joe while she is here."

Neela would obviously watch Joe. She was his Auntie Neela anyway, but still Abby shouldn't be in this mess. She walked up to the Nursery and made sure Joe was discharged properly and went to check on Abby who has still not awoken from surgery. She brought Joe back to Abby's hoping that tomorrow she would be up.

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Sorry it's short, but it's been hard to write. Please review and I will try to update!


	3. Meetings from Hell

Thanks for your reviews. Keep reading and reviewing!

Chapter 3

_20 hours later…._

"Cosmo, sweetie wake up." The toddler slowly opened his eyes. "We're in Chicago baby. We are at our new house. Do you want to go see it?"

"YAY!" The four-year-old was very excited to be in Chicago. He didn't remember living there before. His mom told him he was born in Chicago, but they all moved when he was only one. His mommy didn't like Iowa. Cosmo didn't really know why though. She was always complaining about it.

"Ok sweetie, here we go." Susan unbuckled his car seat. She lifted the toddler out of it. She held the boys hand as the walked up the steps to their new townhouse.

"This house is smaller mommy." Susan laughed. She looked back and saw chuck getting some stuff out of the car. Susan unlocked the door.

"Go run and find a bedroom ok?" The boy was so excited he sprinted up the steps and found a room that already said his name on it. Chuck had already come a few times to get things somewhat ready. Cosmo loved his new room. It was blue with a lot of airplanes and helicopters. He took after his dad.

Susan followed him upstairs. "That's a pretty cool room." Chuck started bringing in the things they brought with them in the car. It wasn't much, but it was enough until the movers came.

"When is your meeting at the hospital?"

"In an hour, so I have to head over there now. Cosmo, come here baby." The little boy ran over to his mommy in their new kitchen. "I have a meeting for work, so can you stay here and help daddy?"

"yay!" Cosmo loved helping his dad. He loved helping him and putting things together. Chuck was so good with him, and always encouraged his son the best he could.

Susan hugged and kissed her favorite men and walked out of their new house shortly after putting on her good suit she left out. She walked to the nearest EL stop and bought a ticket. It had been awhile since she had done that.

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"Susan Lewis."

"Good to see you to Frank. Where's Jerry?"

"You didn't know? A year ago he was shot. He's alright but he doesn't work here anymore."

"Oh my god." Susan didn't know how to react. She knew she missed a lot, but she hadn't spoken to Abby since she left. She didn't really know what to expect when she walked back through the doors of the E.R. "So, I have a meeting with Dr. Moretti. Where's Luka, I thought for sure he would be chief once I left."

"He was, then quit. Good luck with Moretti, he's a character." Susan rolled her eyes. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. 'No, every time I leave all I want is to come back. It's fine,' she thought to herself.

"Nice to see you again Frank."

"Yup." Surprisingly, Susan wasn't offended by his 'yup'. She walked upstairs to the administrative offices and found Dr. Moretti's. "C.ome in." Susan opened the door.

"I'm Dr. Susan Lewis."

"You're Abby's friend. Great."

"Right, so anyway, you wanted to see me the day I moved back to Chicago because…?" Moretti reminded Susan of someone but she couldn't put her finger on it. Who was it?

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Sorry, I like to keep it short and simple…..Next chapter Carter or Susan's reaction to Abby? Your reviews will tell. Thanks for reading


	4. Screaming and Yelling isn't Scary

Chapter 4: I've been trying to write this part, and I know what I want to write, I just cannot get out how I want to say it. So I'm sorry if it doesn't turn out great. This is my fourth attempt.

Susan finally got back into the E.R. She looked around remembering old times. Mark, Abby, Luka, and even Carter. Yes, Susan Lewis misses Carter. She laughed at herself, County had pulled her in.

She saw a nurse sitting at admit talking on the phone. The brunette looked up and saw her. She smiled and hung up the phone. "Dr. Lewis?"

"Sam? Wow, you look great. Brunette? Looks good." They laughed.

"Thanks. You look good yourself. How have you been?"

"Good. I'm actually starting work here again next week."

"Congratulations. Oh hey, I'm about to head upstairs to visit Abby. Care to join me?" Susan looked at her. Her jaw dropped.

"What happened?"

"You don't know?"

"I've lost contact with everyone. Is Abby ok?" Sam was a little uncomfortable.

"How much do you know?"

"What do you mean? I haven't spoken to anyone since I left. I don't know anything." Susan raised her voice. She could tell she was becoming bitchy, but she couldn't help it. Susan started to freak out a little.

"Well, after you left, Abby and Luka started dating again, and Abby found out she was pregnant. She had a baby boy, Joe. He was born two months premature and Luka and Abby became really close. They got married, but his dad got sick."

"Luka and Abby have a baby?" She got a little excited, but quickly became upset with them. They didn't have the respect to call her? Abby had a freaking' baby!

"Yeah, well, Luka went back to Croatia and now Abby is living the single parent life. Joe was brought into the E.R. last week because he fell in the park with the babysitter. Abby got a phone call the next day from her mother who is off her meds. She's been drinking again."

"WHAT? She's an alcoholic!" Susan was worried, but so was Sam.

"I'm going to go see her, do you want to come?"

"I have to."

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Sam walked into Abby's room. Abby was finally becoming more of her. She was asking about Joe and thankful for visitors.

"Hey Abby. How are you feeling?"

"I've been better." The chuckled.

"Someone's here to see you." Susan peeked through the door right on cue.

"Hey stranger." Susan smiled at her friend.

"Susan!" Abby extended her arms and the hugged. "You're back."

"Start work next week. What the hell is you doing Abby? First you have a kid and not tell me, and now your drinking again? Don't screw your life up Abby. Don't do it. If Luka saw you right now he might kill you before I get to lay a finger on you."

"What the hell Susan! You have no idea what I've been through the past week."

"Maybe not, but I do have a kid, I do have a crazy family. You're not the only one Abby." Sam took this little heated discussion as a cue to step out. It would be best to come back later.

"You're not an alcoholic. You don't wake up everyday yearning for a drink."

"You're right Abby. I'm not an alcoholic because I don't need to drown my feelings in alcohol. I hope for your kids sack and Luka's that you get your life together. By the way, your boss, he reminds me Romano." With that Susan got from the chair she just sat down in and left Abby. Both women on the verge of tears. That was not the way they imagined to meet again.

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Susan slammed the door shut. Chuck and Cosmo looked at her. Chuck stood up and Susan ran into his arms. She started sobbing. Cosmo was scared and ran into his room crying.

"Susan. What happened?" Chuck pulled away so he could wipe her tears with his fingers.

"Make sure Cosmo's ok. Then we'll talk." Chuck nodded and headed upstairs with Cosmo's favorite helicopter toy.

Susan took her shoes and coat off and sat down on the couch. She turned on the television and saw an old rerun of E.R. on. It was her favorite show. It was probably since she worked in the E.R., but who knows.

Chuck came down fifteen minutes later. One down, one to go. "Hey Suze. Cosmo's ok. He hates when we're upset. He's playing, but I think he's getting hungry. You must be too. Pasta ok?" Susan nodded.

"Abby has a kid. He's one. But she's drinking again. She got into a car crash because of it." Chuck looked at her and hugged her. There was nothing he could say. They got up and made the dinner together. Susan didn't know how to deal with the situation. She was mad and angry at Abby, but she wanted to help her friend. She just didn't know how.

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I know, another short one. They're all going to be pretty short. If you would like you may review, if not, I hope you enjoyed it. I'll update again as soon as possible.


	5. Stuck in the Same Dance

Sorry it's been awhile since I updated. I've been busy with another fanfic, which you should all read if you like House, Greys Anatomy or 24.

Chapter 5

"Are you going in?"

"I'll be back in two hours. I need to talk to Anspaugh."

"I thought you were going to talk to Weaver?"

"She resigned. I've been e-mailing Luka." She leaned in for a kiss, which was gladly returned.

"Good luck."

"Thanks Kem." Carter grabbed his car keys and headed to his car parked outside.

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Carter walked into the ambulance bay. He could still remember Mark Greene's pep talk after he walked out of a trauma. He couldn't believe that was fourteen years ago. It felt like yesterday.

He walked into the triage area holding onto a backpack just like he had four years ago when he returned from Africa the first time. This was his third.

"Dr. Carter?"

"Morris?" Carter was amazed he was there. That was a big shocker. "Wow, you must be an attending now."

"Yeah, the boards are coming up."

"Good luck."

"How long are you in town for?"

"Umm…a few months. The Joshua Carter Center is just about done being built."

"So, you're not here to see Abby?" Carter jerked his head towards Morris. He was concerned.

"What?"

"She was in a car accident the other day, but she is doing fine." Carter's heart skipped a beat, but when he heard she was fine he was ok.

"That's good. What room is she in? I'll go visit her after my meeting with Anspaugh."

"412."

"Thanks Morris." Morris waved at him and Carter checked his watch. Realizing he was running late, he ran up the stairs praying it would be faster than the elevator.

- - - - - - - - -

Carter poked his head into room 412. "Hey stranger."

"Hey Carter!"

"Wow, you look like crap."

"Thanks, so does your beard." Carter chuckled. Same old Abby.

"So, what happened?"

"Luka went to Croatia."

"I know, we email."

"So I've heard."

"How's Joe?"

"He had an accident in the park. He's fine now, but I wish Luka was here." Carter sat on the edge if her bed. He took her hand into his own.

"I know. What happened?"

"I don't know."

"Abby." He was concerned. "I heard you're drinking again."

"Carter-"

"No Abby, don't do this. Don't relapse. You have hope. You have Joe and Luka. Don't mess this up." He was being harsh, but he had to. Seeing his old sponsor fall down hard, it wasn't right. Not after what she did for him.

"What am I supposed to do John? Luka is gone, and Joe could have died. My mother is off her meds again."

"Everyone has crazy families Abby."

"Susan said the same thing."

"Susan was here?" She nodded.

"Came by yesterday. She's working in the E.R. again, well, she's starting to in a week."

"I promised Kem I would get back quickly, but Abby, go to more AA meetings. Don't bow everything you have worked so hard to gain." He saw a tear roll down her check. This was something he had never seen her do before.

- - - - -

"Hey John. How did the meeting go?"

"It was fine. The finacial aspect has been taken care of. Anspaugh found investers."

"What's wrong John? You seem upset." She touched her hand to his check and ran it down.

"It's Abby." Kem pulled her hand away. Abby had always been a touchy subject.

"Yeah."

"She's drinking again." Kem understood.

"What are you going to do about it?" He could only shake his head. He had no idea what to do.

"I don't know."

- - - - -

Well? I know good people. It has been a long time since my last update. Please review if you would like.


	6. Author's note

Author's Note:

HEY GUYS! I am so sorry I have not updated in like a month, but school has kept me really busy and I have also been working on other fics because I am getting all of these ideas. When I sat down to write the next chapter, I couldn't because I didn't know what to write. I kept getting ideas about how to write it, but when I started, it just didn't sound right. I am in love with E.R., so I have to make it as perfect as possible. I am trying to write it, so trust me when I say I have not given up on this story yet.!

Thanks SO much!

agawaksforlife


	7. It's Gotta Be Me

So, I've decided to update because I think I've finally got it.

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He knocked twice on the green door. No answer. He knocked again.

A woman with blonde hair opened the door and when she realized who he was, a huge smile appeared on her face. "CARTER!" She embraced her old friend with a hug although she still semi- hated him.

"Hey Susan." He smiled back at her. "Can we talk?" She frowned

"Wow, I haven't seen you in three years and you want to talk serious? Jeez Carter."

"Sorry, I have a lot on my mind." She easily read his mind.

"Abby?" He nodded. She led him into the kitchen where Chuck was making coffee. "Chuck, do you remember Carter?" He nodded and smiled at him saying hello.

"Want some coffee?" Carter thanked him and accepted the mug from Susan's husband. He sat down across from her.

"So." It was fairly awkward in the room, and Chuck took it as his cue to leave. Susan made a mental note to thank him later.

"Listen Carter, I am lost and confused and pissed. She's fucking drinking again, and I don't know what to do."

Relieved that Susan spoke first, he said, "I am so disappointed. She has so much going for her." He frowned.

"I know you probably will hate me for saying this Carter, but you need to understand something." He nodded, and she continued. "You are the only one who can help her. I will be more than willing to help you, but ultimately, you alone can help her." He frowned again. He knew it was true, he just couldn't admit it to himself.

"Thanks." She smiled.

"Carter, I will help you to help her. You two are my closest friends, and I can't watch as she throws her life away." He nodded.

"I'll call you later. I need time to think." She understood. It wasn't going to be easy on either of them. It was going to take a long time to bring Abby out of the deep hole that she buried herself in, and the first step was to get her to admit that she has a problem.

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I wish it was longer, but that is the first step to the next chapter. REVIEW if you would like to.


	8. Hiding behind Closed Doors

Hey, I hope everyone liked the last chapter. I now know how to finish the story, but it will not be for a while. Enjoy this chapter.

She opened her eyes when she saw the Indian woman walk into her room holding her son. "Hey." It was audible, but in a whisper.

"Hey. Joe, can you say hi to mommy?" The woman in the bed smiled at her son. "Ready to get out of here?" The woman nodded and smiled again. She couldn't wait to get out of that hospital bed. "Hey Abby, someone wants to see you before you leave." The woman in the bed looked confused.

"Who?"

"Dr. Carter." Abby was shocked and confused. The last time he came they got into a verbal fight over the accident that she was trying desperately to push to the back of her head. The man stepped into the room.

"Hey Abby. Ready to get out of here?" She nodded, but looked at him confused. She could tell he was trying to forget about the fight two days before. "Neela, can you take Joe for a moment. I want to speak with Abby." Neela quietly left the room and took Joe to the waiting room.

Abby tilted her head. "What's going on Carter?" She knew what he wanted to tell her, she just didn't want to face the truth."

"Abby, you and I both know why I'm here." Her smile fell, and she shamefully looked down. He sat down on the side of her bed. "Listen. I talked to Susan yesterday. But, before you say anything, or I continue, I want you to know that we are not going to force you to do anything. However, we will if Joe and other innocent people are at risk along with yourself." She kept her head down knowing what was coming next.

"Susan and I, we really care about you. You are a really good friend to both of us. We don't want you to hurt yourself, Joe and Luka. Luka is already damaged enough. Don't make it worse. He loves you Abby." She looked at him hurt.

"He loves me? Do you see him here right now? Did you see him here when Joe was hurt? Well Carter? Do you see him?" He knew she was right, but he knew the truth.

"He isn't here Abby because his dad is dying! His dad is actually dying, and you are here dying. If he came back home, he would have to deal with you trying to kill yourself." She hated how he was always right, but she wasn't going to let him win.

"I'm not killing myself." She said it so plain. Carter had trapped her just when she thought she had trapped him. How was he going to make her admit that she needed help? He needed Susan's help. Somehow she always knew what the right thing to say was.

He spoke more calmly now. With a sigh, he said, "Look at your self Abby. Just look into a mirror and see the person whom you become. When they discharge you later, you are going to go home with your son, until you realize that Luka is still not going to be there. Yet, when he does come home, that hole you keep digging is going to be bigger until you can't come out. Don't do that to him or your son." She was getting nervous, and she knew that the corner she was reaching in this conversation was coming too close. She needed to get out of it quickly.

He sighed again. "I can see it in your eyes." She gave him a confused look. "That fear of being discovered. That dread of the conversation never ending is there. These eyes do not belong to the Abby I know. These eyes, they don't belong to the Abby Luka knows. These eyes, they are not your eyes. What do I have to tell you to make you admit that you need help?" He sighed again reaching for his phone.

"I have know idea what you are taking about." She really did know. She didn't want to know the real truth.

"It's ok to ask for help Abby. It takes more will to ask for help, but it will only make you stronger." With that he took his phone out and walked out of her room. Abby still felt like she was trapped in the corner knowing the truth in everything he said.

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I hope you all liked it! Please I would love reviews, but I am not begging for them. I really hope you want me to continue and are liking the direction that it is going.


	9. Trying isn't failing

Thanks for your reviews. I'm glade everyone is liking the story!

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He walked out of her hospital room. He couldn't believe she still hadn't asked for helping. He dialed Susan's number. "Susan, it's Carter."

The woman sighed. It was barely audible to the man she was talking to, but her husband had heard her. He gave her a concerned look. As she looked down she shook her head. Chuck got the picture. "I'll take Cosmo out for the day." She thanked him. "The zoo?" She nodded. Cosmo loved the zoo, and now she would be able to help her friend.

"Carter. I'm so sorry." Carter heard the compassion in her voice.

"Yeah. I need help" They were both fed up and concerned.

"Are you at the hospital?"

"Yeah."

"Carter, we are going to help her. We have to help her. I wasn't there for Mark when he had cancer, and I still can't stop blaming myself. I have to help Abby."

"Mark's cancer wasn't your fault." Carter was confused.

"I know, but me not being here to help was." Carter understood. Mark and Susan had a long and complicated history, but they were good friends. She couldn't step aside as her friend killed herself. "I'm on my way." They both hung up.

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She stormed into her friend's room. Mad and frustrated that she was still refusing help. She was going to get her help no matter what it took. The anger kept building up. "What the hell Abby?"

Her friend slowly turned her body. She glared at the woman in the doorway. "What are you talking about Susan?" She spoke in a whisper making sure to not let any fear escape in her voice. She was trying to hold back the tears. This task became more difficult with each passing moment.

Susan moved to the side of the bed and sat down in the chair. She calmed herself down. "Listen. Carter and I. We _want_ to help you. We _want_ you to want us to help you. Please Abby. Please let us help you." Abby rolled her eyes. Proving them wrong was getting hard, and she new the pain she was causing everyone.

"I don't need help." She was plain. Susan hated that. She got up from her chairs.

"Fine. You don't need help. I'll go get your discharge papers." Abby thanked her. She was relieved that conversation went fast. Susan shook her head in disappointment but left the room anyway. She walked up to Carter. She shook her head. "Nothing." He was disappointed.

"Well. What now?" Susan sighed.

"We can wait until tomorrow. I need to get home."

"I'll take you." She thanked him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She was completely exhausted. It had been a long day. She kissed her son goodnight. He wouldn't stop talking about the zoo. She laughed. Her son was sure a character. She walked downstairs to the couch. Her husband was already there flipping through TV. Stations. She sat down next to him. They cuddled up together. He rubbed her back. "How's Abby?"

"She still hasn't asked for help. I just hope that she isn't stupid around Joe."

"You have to stop stressing Suze. It's so bad for the baby." Susan ran her fingers through her hair.

"I know, but she's my best friend."

"Shhh. It's ok." He held her close and started rocking her.

"Thanks for everything Chuck." He nodded.

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"Abby, I'm going back home. Call me if you need anything!" Neela called from the doorway.

"Thanks Neela!" Abby called back. She finished tucking her son into his crib. She went back downstairs. She reached into her fridge and grabbed the bottle of vodka thankful for having liquor again.

She poured it into a glass. At took a big gulp of it. She downed the alcohol in two gulps. She poured thought about pouring more, but just drank it straight from the bottle. She just kept going. She kept drinking it. She had downed half the bottle when she realized what she was doing. "Oh god." She sighed. "I need help."

She stumbled over her furniture trying to locate the hand held phone. She tripped, and found the phone on the couch. She picked it up and dialed the number.

"Hello?" The voice on the other end asked.

"It's Abby." The woman on the other end sighed. "I need help Neela."

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Well? Please review! I want to know what you al thought of it. Only a few more chapters left!


	10. Getting What You Deserve

Sorry it took so long to update. There was a lot that needed to be said!

"_It's Abby. I need help Neela."_

Neela sighed. She knew Abby needed help. But Dr. Lewis and Dr. Carter were trying to help her. Neela questioned herself. "It's going to be o.k. Abby. You are going to be o.k."

"Thanks Neela." Neela nodded although the woman on the other end of the phone couldn't see her. Neela told the woman she would call her back. She needed to find a rehab center. Neela was going to help her no matter what it would take. She wanted Abby to be better for Luka and Joe. Neela went on her computer and logged into her hospital account and looked up some of the best centers in Chicago and dialed their number.

"Hello, this is the Chicago Health and Rehabiitation Center, how can I help you?" Neela sighed and looked at the reviever. She brought it back to her ear.

"Hi. I'm Neela Rosgotra, I work at County General Hospital. I want to admit a friend into your program as soon as possible." Neela started shaking. Never in her life did she think that one day she was going to have to admit one of her friends into a rehab center for drinking.

"Alright. I need your friend's name and the problem." Problem. Abby has a problem.

"Abby Lockhart. She _was_ and alcoholic, but recovered, however now she has started to drink again. She called me minutes ago saying she needed help." Neela's voice started cracking.

"Alright." Neela heard the woman type rapidly on her keyboard. "It will be a faster recovery process when she has already asked for help." Neela nodded although the woman couldn't see it. "We can admit her at nine tomorrow morning." Neela was relieved and completely thankful.

"Thank you so much." She hung up and called Abby. "Abby, it's Neela." Abby smiled grateful. Abby heard it in her voice. She was finally going to get help. She just wished Luka was there.

"I'm going to rehab." It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

"nine a.m." Abby was relieve.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much I appreciate this. Thank you."

"I'll come over at seven thirty tomorrow. I'll help pack and get Joe ready."

"That would be great Neela." Abby sighed not wanting this part to come. "But Neela, before you drop me off, I want to drop Joe off at Susan's." Neela was confused. She took care of Joe after the accident. Why would it be different this time?

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Sorry, I'm not that happy with this chapter, but a lot of questions are going to be answered in the next chapter. I needed this chapter as a set-up chapter. Please review!


	11. Goodbye

Thanks everyone for your reviews. Get excited because a lot of questions are about to be answered!

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Abby saw the confusion and sadness in her friend's eyes. She sighed. It's not that she didn't trust Neela. In fact, Abby trusted Neela with everything. "Neela." She sighed again. "I didn't mean it like that. I love it when you watch Joe." Neela gave her a dirty look. "Listen, I trust you with my life and with Joe's life."

Neela was even more confused now. Abby trusted her. She should be able to take care of Joe. "I need you Neela. I need you to help me get better." Neela was mad now. Abby was desperately trying to explain it to Neela. They were five minutes away from Susan's house. Neela must understand. "This might sound selfish. Neela, I called you to help me get better. You have been here for me every time I needed you. I want you to help me get better. I don't want Susan or Carter to help me get better because they were selfish. They picked everything up and left town. You were here. You were always here. You are selfless. Please help me get better by focusing on me and not on Joe." Abby was starting to beg her friend. She had to understand. "I need you to want to help me by being here for me. Susan can watch Joe because I need you."

"Seriously?" Neela was grateful Abby had so much trust in her. They were close friends. They went through their fourth year of med school together. Abby helped Neela out with the application, and Neela helped Abby out in school. They did their internship together. Neela was Abby's bridesmaid. They were close. Neela even smiled at her friend. Abby blinked a yes to Neela.

"Thank you." They arrived at Susan's house. Abby took the suitcase filled with Joe's things and Neela picked up the boy. The rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer the door. A man answered the door. Both woman recognized him and he let them in. He called for his wife. She came downstairs holding the hand of a four year old boy. "Hey Abby, Neela. Cosmo, this is Joe." Susan pointed to the boy in Neela's arms. "He's going to stay with us for a few weeks ok?" Cosmo excitedly nodded.

Neela handed Joe to Susan. Chuck took his bag from Abby. "He can walk now, and he likes to venture around, so just keep a close eye on him. He's allergic to raspberries. He also likes to listen to Stevie Wonder before bed." Abby started breaking down in tears. She walked towards Susan and gave her son a last hug and kiss. "I love you Joey. I promise I'll get better ok?"

"You're doing the right thing Abby." Abby gave Susan a slight smile.

"I just wish Luka was here." Susan nodded. She didn't want to tell Abby that his father had died. He was staying for the funeral before coming back home. Abby wouldn't want to go to rehab if she knew about Luka's father.

Abby kissed Joe again. She thanked both Susan and Chuck. Neela led her out of the house. Abby was finally getting help. Everything is going to be ok. It has to be ok now.

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Please review. Your reviews are encouraging me to finish. I'm thinking two more chapters. Thanks!


	12. Three Stories

Ok, so it has been over a month since I updated, and I am sorry. It has just been crazy with finals and winter break and all this other stuff, so I am truly sorry. Please keep reading because it does help motivate me a ton!

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Abby Lockhart woke up shaking and sweating. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced. She groaned in pain. An orderly brought in a monitored dosage of pain meds. She swallowed them, and she tried hard to fall asleep.

- - - - - - - - -

John Carter looked around the new hospital that was almost complete. The Joshua Carter Center. As happy as this moment was to him, he could only think about the one person who would haunt him in his dreams. Abby Lockhart. They could never be together, but they would always be friends. Besides, he loved Kem. At least that is what he would tell himself. Maybe he was supposed to be with Abby. However, John Carter knew better than to break up a marriage.

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Susan Lewis smiled at her son who was playing with Abby Lockhart's son. They were laughing and having a good time. Susan smiled, but inside she knew that Joe's life was only going to get better. She couldn't understand Abby at this point, but as long as her friend was getting the help she needed, everything was going to be ok.

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Abby Lockhart grabbed her blanket and headed towards the counseling group rooms. She was assigned to group B. Joy. She sighed. All she wanted was to go home and see her son and husband, but if she wanted to be a good wife and mother as well as a good doctor, she had to complete the program. She was determined to go through each step in order to get better. She wasn't doing this for herself. No. She was doing it for everyone she loved and everyone who was going to get hurt emotionally or physically by her actions. She couldn't do that to them.

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John Carter stood as his wife adjusted the bowtie again. She looked absolutely gorgeous. Unbelievably gorgeous. He took her by the arm and they walked to the limo. She had been a good sport about him helping Abby. But, there was a line that was blurring oh so quickly and that was not helping their already shaky marriage that they thought was going to work.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Susan Lewis headed through the doors of E.R. It was her first day. She took a deep breath and pushed through the doors that she once called home. She remembered the day she walked through them the first time. She was starting off her residency. It was a scary thought how long ago that was. It was strange to be back for a third time. She was starting over at County for a third time. Somehow, she knew, County was always going to be here pulling her back in, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

However, this third time, she promised herself, she would do everything different. Not because she wanted to be a better doctor. She was already a great doctor. County changed. Everything about it had changed from the time she walked through before her first day as a resident, to now. Thousands of patients walked through. Many doctors came and left. Some left willingly, others were pulled into an early death. And now, as she walked through the doors for the first time in four years, she thought about how she almost lost another great friend.

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"Abby, you haven't talked since you've been here. Would you like to share your story?" Abby gave her a deathly stare. No, obviously if she wanted to talk, she would. "No." The woman looked disappointed but understood. Some patients just took longer. Even a week ago, Abby's determination was higher. As the pain of being away from Joe and Luka had time to hit her, she became less willingly to open up to the program. If she wanted to see them, she had to do it. She couldn't fight it. She couldn't fight it.

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Thanks so much for reading. Please let me know any reactions good or bad. Feedback is really going to help.


	13. Parties, Reunions, Happily Ever Afters

Thanks so much for all of the reviews! I really hope you like the last chapter and thanks so much for sticking with the story! And, if you keep on reading this last chapter, you will NEVER guess who shows up.

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She told herself that she wasn't going to fight it. She was going to go through the steps and actually work at them and do it. The steps weren't going to just fly over her head like she was in some sort of a dream. No. Abby Lockhart was going to take the program seriously.

She stood up and walked into the middle of the twelve chairs sitting in a circle. For the first time in a month and a half she spoke. "Hi, I'm Abby Lockhart. It's weird to think that I've been here for over a month and I'm just speaking now. I guess that's how this all started. I was never one to ask for help. I always thought I could handle it on my own. Well, look where I am," she took a deep breath and continued. She told her story just as it had happened. From the start.

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Glade that she talked during her group session, Abby received the confidence and push to take the next step. As she worked through each step one at a time, everyone at the center took notice at her sudden quick progress. The program works if you follow it. It was working just before their eyes.

Another month and a half brought much joy to Abby. She was so much better and healthier. She was checking herself out of rehab to be with Joe. Luka was coming home, and finally ready to face him, Abby took a deep breath and checked herself out. She was excited to be with her family and she was glade that she got a second chance to be a better doctor, wife and mother.

Abby pulled her stuff into the street. It was weird standing outside alone. She wasn't with her group or sponsor, but she felt as if she could conquer the world, but instead she whistled for a cab to go pick up Joe from Susan's. She got into the cab and headed there.

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Abby walked slowly up to the front door. She rang the doorbell once. She waited a moment before a man opened the door. It was Chuck. "Hey Abby. You look so much better." She smiled at him as a thank you before he yelled for his wife to come to the door. "I'll go get Joe's things." She thanked him again.

"Wow Susan! You're showing a bit. How has Joe been?" Susan smiled completely grateful that her friend was going to be ok.

"Joe was so good. He wanted his mom and dad at night, but he was great. He started walking a little too and he started saying 'Dada'. I feel so bad that you missed it." She frowned and tears drizzled out of Abby's eyes.

"You know, as sad as I am that Luka and I missed it, I would rather miss that than something bigger, or even more smaller things. I can be there for everything else." Susan smiled at that.

- - - - - - - - -

Abby fumbled through all of the things in her purse trying to locate her house key will managing to juggle Joe and their belongings. After a minute or so of searching, she finally found them and opened her door revealing a large, tall hunky man sitting on their couch. She dropped her belongings, and running with Joe in her arms, ran up to the man. "Luka!" He stood up not realizing she was home. He smiled and they embraced in a hug, which included their son.

"I'm so sorry Abby! I am so sorry." A single tear slid down his check. She shook her head.

"No Luka. It was my fault. I'm sorry. I should have had more control. You had obligations to you father and family in Croatia. You shouldn't have had to worry about me. I am so sorry." More tears ran down their face. "I'm going to make everything better Luka." He nodded at her knowing the truth.

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"Hey Abby, Carter send us an invitation to the grand opening of the Joshua Carter Center Party. Should I RSVP yes?" She nodded getting Joe dressed for bed.

"When is it?"

"Next month."

"Yeah, we should go." He nodded and filled out the response card so it would get into tomorrow's mail. "Tomorrow I have a meeting with Anspaugh to talk about me possibly returning to work." He nodded.

"Are you ready to go back to work?" She smiled at him and they snuggled together on the couch.

"Yes." He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Let's go get some sleep." The walked upstairs together hand in hand.

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"Dr. Anspaugh, I've completed the program and I go to AA meetings once a week. I am still following the program, but I do have a disease. I am going to stick with the program because I do have a husband and son who both need me, and my patients need me. If that argument isn't good enough, I don't know how I even got hired." Dr. Anspaugh continued looking at Abby in the eye.

"Ok. You can come back to work on two conditions." She nodded, and he continued, "You must go to AA meetings twice a week and submit yourself to random blood tests once a week." She smiled knowing that was a reasonable negotiation.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." She stood up and Donald Anspaugh shook her hand. "Thank you."

"Of course."

- - - - - - - - - - -

They all gathered outside of the new hospital wing. Abby and Susan were talking with their husbands. The glanced around and smiled as three familiar faces to Abby showed up. The four people spotted them and quickly walked.

"Holy Crap! What is Doug Ross doing here?!?" Susan screamed and hugged her old friend. "You don't show up to Mark's funeral, but you show up to this?" Doug shrugged and his wife laughed.

"Carol was in labor. She was having her third child." Susan sighed. She honestly couldn't believe it the timing. She laughed at them. Susan introduced Doug to Abby.

"So," she said, "You are the infamous Doug Ross." He nodded loving the ego boost. Doug and Carol turned to the other couple that walked in with them. Peter Benton and Cleo Finch.

"I remember when Carter came to find me his first day as a third year med student," Peter said. Carol, Doug, Benton and Susan laughed with Cleo and Abby out of the loop, but they felt better once they were filled in.

"Who would have know Carter would be opening his own wing?" Doug asked slightly amused. Carter walked up to the ribbon with a pair of scissors getting ready to announce the official opening, and to Carol, Doug, Susan and Benton, it almost felt like they were back in the older days with Mark, but for Abby, it felt like it was the start of the future with love, happiness, and a complete lifetime.

THE END!

I hope you like it and I really hope you liked me bringing back the older characters.


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